Lost Job

I lost my job. I would be happy if the reason could be any of the following. Unable to meet the expectations; unable to learn and unlearn quickly; unable to be a team player, unable to communicate, and any other reason in the world except for being truthful. The initial days of work were pretty good; there was learning the product, understanding the organization, chit-chat with team members, but soon the good days came to an end as there was not enough scope to explore. The work became monotonous. My job was to check if the UI of the product is working as expected or not.

I kept doing it for a while, but soon my inner-self started to resist. By this time, it was already three months into my work. I started looking for other options that could give me a chance to start liking my work. The first option I tried was to tell my manager that I’m capable of doing better work resisting the fact that I do not like the present work. My manager was happy with my commitment, but at the same time, she had no option of changing my job because there was a limited opportunity for the work given to the team. Along with me, there were two others from the team who are as talented as I’m who had resisted the fact that they were unhappy with the work but at the same time wouldn’t lose an occasion to ask if my role had changed. Keeping all of the reasons mentioned above, I was behind my HR to change my team and it took a month of effort for her to find out a team where there was a vacancy. The recruitment process started again, and I was lucky enough that my new hiring manager was impressed with my skills.

I couldn’t realize the fact that this particular thing would turn the tables. My manager didn’t take the news well. She came up with a clause restricting the change of team by a team-member within an 18-month duration. This upset me so much that I confronted that I do not like the work I do, and it’s better if I change team. But, holding the clause, I was made sure that I worked for the same team.

Knowing my suffering, my manager then came up with the idea of giving a chance to all three of us to work on a better role for three months once a year. Initially felt happy, given the privilege of working for the first three months. Then the learning has started, and I was happy again. But by the time I settle, it was the end of my third month, and I have to move back to my old work for at least six months from then. But throughout the second phase in my team, things started to change — appreciating me is a new something, sidelining me in every team activity, giving low ratings for my work, no salary hike at the end of the year. When there was extra work for the team, I was the least priority to take up the work.

I couldn’t understand the mistake I have made. Stating to the manager that I don’t like the work is not a sin in my point of view because I have waited throughout my life not just to check if buttons on the product screen are working fine. The thing that breaks my heart is the manager’s change in behavior for being truthful about work. It could be okay if I haven’t told my manager that I didn’t like the job like others. Then, I have decided that I should change my organization to look for a new ray of hope. Since having little experience, I haven’t got at least one call from other companies. Unable to leave or work, I went into depression and thought of various ways to escape the work for the day. God answered my prayers and given me a chance to break for 20 days by induced the covid-19 virus into me.

While the rest of the world was crying if the people got infected, I was happy that I could escape from my work for at least 20 days. I know it sounds silly; how could anyone be happy when a life-threatening virus enters a body, but I was delighted. After my holiday at the hospital, I was shocked to know when my manager said to leave the job permanently. I should be happy, but I didn’t know what made me feel sad. This is all I wanted, but why were tears rolling out of my eyes. I couldn’t understand.

The most challenging situation in the world that I faced till now is getting rejected for having no reason. I would be happy if there were some reason. The only belief I have is that I know being true is not wrong so that nothing can happen to me. I believe, like inner-self, there is outer-self which is trying to do something nice to us. If there are no inner-self solutions, then the outer-self takes the responsibility and does the best for us. I lost my job for no reason because my outer-self knew that is best for me. My inner-self knew that I couldn’t keep doing this job but don’t have any other ways to try.

In conclusion, I have a new job in the same company as a cloud developer, thanks to my HR, Swetha, and new manager, Pallavi, for believing in my skills.